2010…………a year which has been instrumental in my life in so many ways than one.

The fist year of my married life filled with loads of love & affection along with the thorns of separation and anguish.
The year had a confusing start, was gripped in dilemma all throughout to juxtapose my marriage with my work with every effort in place as possible, but the time was mostly drained out to find peace with myself, to decipher the right code to true happiness which any newly wed deserves.

But things took turn as I took solace in reading and writing and rediscovering my passions. The year gradually did wonders to my life one after the other, right from making the transition from a lazy lass to a responsible wife taking care of my huby, my room, the meals, the finances and so much more to surrendering to the new ignition in my heart for writing. And it sure saved the best for the last by giving me my keys to my ultimate happiness, and by letting me strike off the first and the last wish of the wishlist 2010 (Vishal’s offer letter from his desired organization)

In short it was a year of evolution in true sence and hope the coming year has me prepared to cherish what God has finally brought me in my life!!!

Thanku 2010! Muuuuuuaaah!!!

All in a day-offs work!

I woke up this morning and realized that I had all the time in this world today. It’s a holiday for me finally when I have no bus to catch, no pending work to complete, no shopping to do and above all no work and no studies hence no burning the midnight oil. Today is the day when I have every right to feel lazy to the core, to sleep until ever single person in the world wakes up and to make all rest and no work - the mantra for the day.It was a holiday in true sense of the term. A super welcome change from the so called busy life that I was leading from the past couple of months.
But the other moment, I started getting restless, coz here I could recollect of doing all those things that I had been planning to indulge in, when I would have a perfect day off. Things that I hadn’t done in a coons age.
Visiting my blog, being one of them. Can you believe it?? Here I read my 1st blog where I spoke great guns about my passion for writing and that I am going to be using this platform to the optimum to decant my feelings and experiences, has kinda left me pretty disgruntled. For I have been giving myself excuses one after the other (with things like ‘so much of work’, ‘exams round the corner’, ‘no time to read and hence no time to think’, ‘blogs and networking sites are blocked in office’ and ‘no time to gaze at the laptop at home’), to push blogging like everything else to take a back seat.

Yes I haven’t visited my blog for ages now, visiting networking sites is already a distant thought. Be it cooking a meal on a Sunday or playing with my litl niece nxt door, be it reading 01 short story from ”Feluda’s adventure” (God knows when will I complete reading the book) to tuning into my fav music no’s, life for sure was not offering me my share of fun.

“Chettinad chiken with lemon rice and fresh salad” I jumped off the bed as I conceived the great menu for todays lunch. Great not because we had not cooked south Indian food at home for eons now, but because it was me who was going to get into the kitchen and demonstrate my cooking skills (a scary thought for many of my family members, lol!). And if it turns out to be good, it would be repeated when huby dear comes home on Wednesday. I congratulated myself with the idea and quickly googled out the recipes and got the ingredients together. Mum and Guria (my cousin sis) gave me a good assist and after a lot of hard work (hardly :P)l! I prepared the lunch and needless to say, it was yummy!!! Then I went onto my next mission – reading one of the feluda stories. I read two in an hour and seem quite resolute now to read two more before going off to sleep. To further pamper myself I spent a lot of time mollycoddling and playing with my niece RIMI and last but not the least stealing a peak in my blog (with my fav music tracks on) and ending up writing this piece.

My day went in order - close to a perfect day off, doing nothing really yet the simplest of things that gave me immense joy. Felt at peace but somewhere not complete for it can not be sans my huby who was missing in the picture.
And now having done with all in my wish list for today, I feel all bright and happy and charged for the hectic times ahead from tomorrow. The induction manual is still not complete, 05 positions to close in 10 days, and the deadline for the website copy being this week, I am already having my hands, liver, lungs and mouth full of work. Hah! Hate it man, wasn’t I just celebrating my joyous day and here I am sulking again. And I said to myself ‘Welcome to Sunday evening blues!’

JAB WE DID NOT MEET

Unlike every morning, I didn’t wake up with his call. It was rather my mother who did the needful. I looked at the wall clock - 8:10 am, “Gosh I was sooooooooo late”. I looked at the mobile, not to reconfirm the time, but to check whether there are any missed calls from him. There weren’t any. Every morning (ever since we are together) his calls are my wake up alarm (excepting the days when we are on a NO-dialogue mode). But it was all going fine with us, so why the hell he hasn’t called me up??

It was a Saturday, a half day at office for me and a full day for him. Even though I was running super late for my office, I called up on his no. Its actually been a custom to start the day with his voice, the only time in the day when we talk our heart out with a fresh mind that all mornings tend to bring in. His mother and my mother-in-law picked up.

“Good morning mammi” I said as I recognized her hello. ‘Good morning’, she replied realizing that Vishal had actually left the phone home. “Dekho na, phone ghar pe chod diya. Subah subah gussa ho gaya.” she said seeming a bit down. ‘Kyu mammi?’ I asked finding her a bit perturbed. “Are kuch nahi, usko breakfast mein oats khana tha, maine banaya bhi par achha nai bana, isliye gussa hoke office chala gaya aur phone lena bhool gaya” she uttered. ‘OH, achha” We kinda had a brief laugh at it as I felt relieved and then we went on to our regular conversation for the next 10 mins. I couldn’t help looking at the timepiece, it was already 08: 25 am and I had to leave for office by 09:00. As we hung up, I rushed literally with the speed of light to get ready. I knew I could catch him at his office direct no after Nine, once he reaches.

Sharp at 10:00, he gave me call from his office landline. Visibly like me, he too was desperate to hear my voice. We spoke for a while and hung up as none of us enjoy spending more time on personal phn calls in office! I was still confused whether he would be coming down to Calcutta tonight, as we meet each other only on weekends. Last week he had come over and the coming week I was planning to go so we mutually decided that none of us would travel this week, which meant we were not meeting for this weekend, which meant that I had not seen him for the past 06 days and was not going to see him for the coming 07 days. Huh, painful but quite used to it by now! Or maybe not yet??

This is how we have been spending our beautiful newly married life since last 10 months of our marriage. Cannot be called new anymore but beautiful it surely is and hopefully will remain, as all couples hope.

Vishal works in Durgapur, a 3 hrs drive from Calcutta and stays with his parents in Asansol, another hours drive from there. We meet in weekends and whenever there are extended holidays. Its September now, and we have almost finished all our paid leaves like this. Our office complains, our family worries, our friends wonder and we understand it all and still stand with our decision to pursue our careers on our own terms accepting this brutal separation as a part of the deal. Its not that we don’t want to be together, no one can fathom how much we do but the plans that we had (Of me not quitting the job, and he coming over to cal by taking a transfer) are taking more time to come real than we ever thought. His transfer is not materializing yet and so is a desired job in a desired company in the city of joy. No one wants to compromise in careers nowadays esp at a juncture when you know you are already there, Isn’t it?

As and when we spoke over the day, he sounded bit goaded and I a bit gloomy. After 2 in the afternoon, I was free so thought of catching him on phn again, but he was still in office and as always he couldn’t manage well. By the time he reached home, at 08:30 pm, he was to attend one friends Bday treat. And there I called up again. He sounded quite grumpy, his mood swings had taken its toll on our conversation and we ended up with a fight. It was all over for the day for us, making me hurt and spoiling his mood for the party, for sure.

Well, this is how he is. Most of the time with men, this is how frustration comes out. We know we are living on the edge. We know God is testing us out, perhaps a long test to give, but nevertheless we also know, it doesn’t really affect our love for each other, its there like a rock, still standing steady to face the bigger tests in life. I believe in God, and am just not complaining. I said these words to myself, as I said my prayers on bed, looking at our picture in the mobile phn and switching it off , knowing there will not be any wake up call for tomorrow. We again were (don’t know for how many days) on a No-dialogue mode.

Nice way to see the love grow, take breaks guys and enjoy the joy of missing someone like crazy. It works!

I wrap up today (i.e the following Sunday when I am not talking to him and missing him big time and perhaps dedicating this write-up to him) and leave you all with this beautiful song. Specially dedicated to my Huby! Love u lots and looking forward to C u soon!! Lolz!

I miss u like crazy!!

Happy Blogging Sukanya!

After having pondered over a while and procastinated for over a year now, I have finally decided to try my hands on blogging. With the little that I know about blogging, about writing and promoting the same (promoting - not thinking of it really, am here for different reasons altogether) I wish to stay here and strive to emit all that I feel has piled up in my heart for years and needs to be given an outlet to, immediately.

What made me do this was my long time wish to pen down feelings in a place where I could vent it all out and re-discover the joy of writing.
Well, yes have always enjoyed writing since childhood. Candidly, do not have the gift of the gab, but can almost effortlessly write, write and write. Nope! have not written any article for newspaper and stuff, just have penned my feelings about every experience of my life, every emotion of my heart in my diary. Diary ofcourse has landed me in a lot of trouble in the past, with my sis reading it all and discovering my secrets. lol! Considering the possible aftermaths, I realized that there is too much to handle and therefore stopped the diarybazi. This was 10 years back.
No, I did not stop writing though. I rather had this very beautiful stint in my life, which only words could help me to frame in my mind. Yes, am talking about the most awesome experience of my lifetime - the journey of falling in love. The love letters that I wrote and received from Vishal (My Husband now) meant the world to me. I realized how strong the emotion love is . It literally make you lost. Hmmmm!

So where was I? Yup! We kept writing to each other (as we were in a long distance relationship always) till the day our marriage was hooked, cooked and booked by our parents in 2007 (Our wedding took place in Nov'2009), that writing much to my dismay had come to a pause. And only I know, how much I missed it.
But here I intend to start afresh. Hope my writing grows here may be in due coarse grow on some of you and it gains maturity with every piece that is put on this platter. Frankly, not really bothered as to how many will folllow and read and actually appreciate my work. All that matter is the pleasure that I have always derived by pouring my heart out through the gorgeous language of english. All for the writer's delight yaar.
So, here I go. I am sure now as to what I have to do. C Ya around for the next n years.