Life in a way has been staring at me with eyes open, watching how I would handle the pain and the suffering it had thrown on my face. Smirking at me and teasing me. Telling me that this pain is way too big for you to not succumb to it, to not be depressed, to not have a breakdown.
"When did you become this harsh to me?" I asked LIFE - my mouth agape, my nerves shivering and my heart pumping the loudest ever.
It made inane conversations with me with a blithe ignorance of my pain. "You have a problem" it denounced and made sure that it would remain in my mind every micro second that I live, every damn place that I go to and every bit of reason that I could smile at. It picked up all the positives in my mind and argued its existence. It didn't stop there. It tried to drown me into this deep pool of guilt and ensured I couldn't wade across.
My tears as and when they came, LIFE celebrated!
It was succeeding step by step as I was slowly wearing away. With its usual nonchalance it danced in front of my eyes waiting for my next move of giving in.
As I became more helpless & cowed, LIFE gnawed at me!!
I was coming closer bit by bit, about to press the button "Submit".
Just then - I was suddenly embraced.
I couldn't look back as he had hugged me tight. I struggled to set myself free but he did not allow. My plaintive cry was fast subdued as his palms reached for my mouth and closed it. For the next 30 seconds, we remained like this. With he not loosing an inch of his grip and with me still fighting my tears and gasping for air.
Embraced with love and faith he eventually could quell the unrest of my mind. The cyclone had begun to settle and he came in front of me, sitting and looking at my face without a word. He looked like an angel sent by GOD to weather this storm and to bring me back to LIFE that I knew. His eyes reassured the good and I started to believe all he had to say. With that opened a placid rivulet of hope meandering smoothly through my soul and lifting my spirits.That was the moment of strength with which I looked back at LIFE. It was still waiting for me to surrender with open arms. I turned around and thwarting his hopes pressed "refresh".
And with that LIFE failed to fail me!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been an emotionally draining year for me. No wonders that I could not come home to blogging for this long. After dealing with hopes & despair and coming to terms with the nasty truths, I intend to come back to this beautiful world of my own. And as I say this I am overwhelmed with the gratitude of what I have (read family) than the remorse of what LIFE doesn't wish to offer.
It takes a lot to come out of a bad patch with all the sanity and trying to live life just as normally like you. But I am trying........trying to dream, to hope , to plan and to respect the fact that 'everything is not meant for everyone'.
See you around in this unbelievable journey called LIFE!
"When did you become this harsh to me?" I asked LIFE - my mouth agape, my nerves shivering and my heart pumping the loudest ever.
It made inane conversations with me with a blithe ignorance of my pain. "You have a problem" it denounced and made sure that it would remain in my mind every micro second that I live, every damn place that I go to and every bit of reason that I could smile at. It picked up all the positives in my mind and argued its existence. It didn't stop there. It tried to drown me into this deep pool of guilt and ensured I couldn't wade across.
My tears as and when they came, LIFE celebrated!
It was succeeding step by step as I was slowly wearing away. With its usual nonchalance it danced in front of my eyes waiting for my next move of giving in.
As I became more helpless & cowed, LIFE gnawed at me!!
I was coming closer bit by bit, about to press the button "Submit".
Just then - I was suddenly embraced.
I couldn't look back as he had hugged me tight. I struggled to set myself free but he did not allow. My plaintive cry was fast subdued as his palms reached for my mouth and closed it. For the next 30 seconds, we remained like this. With he not loosing an inch of his grip and with me still fighting my tears and gasping for air.
Embraced with love and faith he eventually could quell the unrest of my mind. The cyclone had begun to settle and he came in front of me, sitting and looking at my face without a word. He looked like an angel sent by GOD to weather this storm and to bring me back to LIFE that I knew. His eyes reassured the good and I started to believe all he had to say. With that opened a placid rivulet of hope meandering smoothly through my soul and lifting my spirits.That was the moment of strength with which I looked back at LIFE. It was still waiting for me to surrender with open arms. I turned around and thwarting his hopes pressed "refresh".
And with that LIFE failed to fail me!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been an emotionally draining year for me. No wonders that I could not come home to blogging for this long. After dealing with hopes & despair and coming to terms with the nasty truths, I intend to come back to this beautiful world of my own. And as I say this I am overwhelmed with the gratitude of what I have (read family) than the remorse of what LIFE doesn't wish to offer.
It takes a lot to come out of a bad patch with all the sanity and trying to live life just as normally like you. But I am trying........trying to dream, to hope , to plan and to respect the fact that 'everything is not meant for everyone'.
See you around in this unbelievable journey called LIFE!
